Did you know that the Word of God includes some funny Bible verses?
We know that many verses, when taken out of context, might sound harsh or sarcastic, which is why reading the entirety of the Bible is important to fully understand it.
But, seriously, some of these sarcastic Bible verses will almost make you choke on your morning coffee!
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Funny Bible Verses Taken Out of Context
Before I go any further, I want to make sure that you understand that I take the Bible as a serious matter! But in all things, we must be able to find humor and laugh a little!
Even the Bible – the literal Word of God – can offer some opportunities to find humor depending on the translation you are using.
We know that some translations are a bit harder to understand.
But some, just translate the message in a way that leaves you thinking “What did that just say?” lol!!
These funny Bible verses, when taken out of context, will surely have you rolling and need a box of tissue to dry your eyes!
2 Kings 2:23 NIV: From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeeredat him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”
Song of Songs 7:4 NIV: Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus.
Ok, we should absolutely NOT refer to someone in this way but you gotta admit, that is funny considering it is in the Bible!
And then there is this one where it speaks of a maniacal driver:
2 Kings 9:20 NIV: The lookout reported, “He has reached them, but he isn’t coming back either. The driving is likethat of Jehu son of Nimshi—he drives like a maniac.”
And what about this funny Bible verse that seems to indicate that Paul was so boring that his readings put a man to sleep!
Acts 20:9-10 Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead.Paul went down, threw himself on the young manand put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!”
Now, I would never wish physical harm to anyone but you must admit – this next one is funny!
Galatians 5:12 HCSB: I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!
And this one about 2 brothers' names…
Genesis 22:21 NIV: Uzthe firstborn, Buzhis brother, Kemuel (the father of Aram),
And what about that time God told Joshua he was old?
Joshua 13:1 NASB: NowJoshua was oldandadvanced in years when theLordsaid to him, “You are oldandadvanced in years,
Or that time that Jesus got mad at an olive tree…
Matthew 21:18 NIV: Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it,“May you never bear fruit again!”Immediately the tree withered.
Funny Bible Verses About Marriage
Second only to being grounded in God's Word, the key to a long and happy marriage is the ability to laugh together – and at each other!
Now, I don't mean “laugh at each other” in a hateful way such as to disparage the other person or belittle them.
Related: 19 Encouraging Verses for a Troubled Marriage
But let's be honest, sometimes husbands and wives can totally get on each others' nerves! And these funny Bible verses about love and marriage are spot on!
Proverbs 11:22 NIV: Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.
Proverbs 27:15 NIV: A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm
Proverbs 21:9 NIV: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19 NIV: Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Funny Bible Verses About Drinking
Ok, first and foremost, I know that alcoholism is no laughing matter!
But the Bible does have some pretty funny Bible verses about drinking that, when taken out of the intended context, will have you laughing!
Whether it be character traits of someone you know who acts crazy when they drink or the silly games intoxicated people play.
I'm sure these hilarious verses will remind you of someone!
Acts 2:15 CSB: For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it’s only nine in the morning.
Judges 7:5 CSB: Separate everyone who laps water with his tongue like a dog. Do the same with everyone who kneels to drink.”
Mark 14:52 NIV: he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.
Mark 9:34 NIV: But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
Proverbs 31:6 HCSB: Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter.
Funny Bible Verses About Poop
I don't know what it is about the topic of poop that makes people laugh!
For me, I can't help but laugh every time I see a dog doing his/her business while out for a walk with its owner.
And moms with babies – oh the poop stories they can tell!
Most of them aren't so funny when they happen, but they can totally laugh about these stories later when telling others about them!
And believe it or not, there are some funny Bible verses about poop!
Ezekiel 4:12 NIV: You will eat it as you would a barley cake and bake it over dried human excrement in their sight.
Ezekiel 4:15 NIV: He replied to me, “Look, I will let you use cow dung instead of human excrement, and you can make your bread over that.”
Isaiah 36:12 NIV: But the commander replied, “Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?”
More Funny Bible Verses
As if that wasn't enough, here are even more funny Bible verses to make your stomach hurt from laughter!
1 Samuel 28:7 NLT: Saul then said to his advisers, “Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.”
To paraphrase: “Go find me someone who talks to dead people so I can ask for her advice.”
Now, I don't know about you, but most people tend to steer clear of these people lol!
Here is another one that had me doing a double-take! This one varies among translations and most of them aren't as crazy as this one:
1 Samuel 6:4 JUB: Then said they, What shall be theexpiation ofguilt which we shall pay unto him? They answered, Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden rats,according tothe number of the cardinals of the Philistines, for the same plague that is on you is also on your cardinals.
And I would NEVER condone violence against a child, but I'm sure some parents have at least had a momentary thought such as this one:
Psalm 137:9 HCSB: Happy is he who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rocks.
And here are a few more hilarious Bible verses that make you go “huh?”!
Exodus 32:24 NIV: So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!”
Job 10:10 CSB: Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese?
Song of Solomon 4:2 ESV: Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing.
Who knew the Bible could be so funny? I mean – for REALS – some of these verses of Scripture can make you choke on your drink or wet your pants from laughing so hard!
Hopefully, these funny Bible verses inspire you to dive into the Word of God more often and learn what these things mean in full context.
But for today, I truly hope you were able to get rid of some of that negative energy you may have been carrying around and just laugh!
FAQs
26 Hilariously Funny Bible Verses - Kingdom Bloggers? ›
Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you.
What does the Bible say about pooping? ›Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you.
What is Trump's favorite Bible passage? ›And we can learn a lot from the Bible, that I can tell you." Trump did not mention that the Old Testament's "Eye for an eye" is later renounced in the New Testament in favor of "turn the other cheek," in Matthew 5:38: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.
Is there a funny Bible verse? ›Proverbs 11:22 NIV: Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. Proverbs 21:9 NIV: Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:19 NIV: Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.
Where in the Bible does it say there is no one like Jehovah? ›Psalms 86:8-10 Amplified Bible (AMP)
There is no one like You among the gods, O Lord, Nor are there any works [of wonder and majesty] like Yours. All nations whom You have made shall come and kneel down in worship before You, O Lord, And they shall glorify Your name. For You are great and do wondrous works!
Leviticus 15:13 Now when the man with the discharge becomes cleansed from his discharge, then he shall count off for himself seven days for his cleansing; he shall then wash his clothes and bathe his body in running water and will become clean.
What does the Bible say about wiping away tears? ›Rev. 21 Verses 1 to 4
He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them; [4] he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away. "
Thomas Jefferson was known as an inventor and tinkerer. But this time he was tinkering with something held sacred by hundreds of millions of people: the Bible. Using his clippings, the aging third president created a New Testament of his own—one that most Christians would hardly recognize.
What Bible did Trump use to swear in? ›When Donald J. Trump takes the oath of office on Friday, he will do so with his hand on two Bibles: his own, and one used by Abraham Lincoln in 1861. Only one other president has used that Bible for the oath: Mr. Trump's predecessor.
What is the most controversial verse in the Bible? ›Matthew 27:24-25: “And all the people answered and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.” This scripture has been called the most inflammatory passage in the New Testament. It comes from one of the most dramatic moments in the New Testament.
What is everyone's favorite Bible verse? ›
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” The most popular Bible verse in the world is John 3:16, which is searched over two million times each month across the globe.
What is the funniest thing in the Bible? ›- The Philistines and the Ark of the covenant (1 Samuel 5)
- The man who ran away naked (Mark 14:51-52) ...
- The deadly sermon (Acts 20:7-12) ...
- The people who had too much fish (Numbers 11: 1-20) ...
- The sarcastic prophet (1 Kings 18:17-40) ...
Its preface states: "the distinctive Hebrew name for God (usually transliterated Jehovah or Yahweh) is in this translation represented by 'The Lord'." A footnote to Exodus 3:14 states: "I am sounds like the Hebrew name Yahweh traditionally transliterated as Jehovah." The New International Version (1978, revised 2011).
Why is Matthew 17 21 missing? ›Matthew 17:21
Reason: The verse closely resembles Mark 9:29, but it is lacking in Matthew in א (original handwriting), B, θ, some Italic, Syriac, Coptic and Ethiopic manuscripts. It is, however, found in this place in some Greek mss not quite so ancient – C, D, K, L – as well as some other mss of the ancient versions.
The New World Translation of the Christian Greek Scriptures was released at a Jehovah's Witness convention at Yankee Stadium, New York, on August 2, 1950.
What does the Bible say about helping the poo? ›Deuteronomy 15:11 For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, “You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.” 1 Samuel 2:7 The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.
What does the Bible say about shutting up your bowels of compassion? ›1 John 3:17-18 King James Version (KJV)
But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
Colossians 3:12-17 KJV
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.