Introduction
#DaveChappelle, #EddieGriffin, #KattWilliams, #TrevorNoah
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Content
It's scary to watch holy [ __ ].
It's like seeing a crack pipe in your uber driver's passenger seat.
The [ __ ] is wrong.
With this guy yo he is luncheon [ __ ].
I watched I watched donald trump in a press conference and this [ __ ], had all the media gathered and nick literally literally asked the media to their face to stop finding [ __ ] out.
I was like yo yo, this [ __ ] is bugging and then I'm not even making this up his lips started sweating his lips.
Have you ever seen a lip sweat? What the [ __ ] is wrong with this nigga's lips, it's like if you're on a plane right, you haven't been on a plane.
I I get scared to fly.
I do it all the time I'll be scared on there and sometimes the plane will hit turbulence and then I get nervous, but I always look at the flight attendant and she looks calm and it makes me feel calm.
But if that bitch's lips were sweating, it's terrifying like yo, [, __ ].
Why are you lip sweating? What do you know and then I'm not making a shout out this morning? If I grab the problem, he goes you don't know how scary the things I read and my briefings are.
I was like holy [ __ ] man.
You ain't supposed to tell us that bro, that's bad leadership, even as a parent, you think I'm gonna sit, my kids down hey little man come here, real, quick, I'm gonna holler for a second, oh I'm, three months behind on the rent, [ __ ] and I am worried very worried.
Gonna go to school and have a productive day, [ __ ].
I was just thinking out loud getting some [ __ ] off my chest like what the [ __ ].
Are you doing bro? This is bad man, jesus price, all this motherfucker's ideas sound like high people.
Ideas like he doesn't think these things through before he tells us.
He just tells us what he's thinking as soon as it occurs to him that [ __ ] sounds nuts.
I'm gonna go to china and I'm gonna get those jobs from china and bring them back here to america.
For what [, __ ], so iphones can be nine thousand dollars.
Leave that job in china, where it belongs.
None of us want to work that hard, the [ __ ].
Is he thinking I want to wear nikes? I don't want to make them [ __ ], what the [ __ ]! Are you doing stop trying to give us chinese jobs? I am going to bring back coal coal, I'm not even exaggerating.
I have never in my life even seen a [ __ ] lump of coal.
I honestly don't even know what coal is for if you're gonna have [ __ ] digging around in the dirt.
Looking for find me some truffles, [ __ ], that's what I'm about, and these trouble prices are getting out of control if it gets any worse.
I'm gonna be back down the regular butter, like everybody else, terrible terrible job.
This [ __ ] hitting north korea with rap battle, threats, fire and fury like yo yeah.
What are you doing? [ __, ], korea, man kim jong-un, is a scary, [, __ ] he's he might be as crazy as trump some scary, [, __ ] and if you're, one of them naive, [ __ ] that thinks that a war with korea is gonna be easy.
Then you don't play call of duty at three a.m.
Like I do that's when the koreans play.
[ __, ], eight-year-old korean kid took out my whole goddamn platoon last night, never seen somebody in the office so high with the most just basic [ __ ] solutions.
Like you know, we should not let any more muslims in the country till we can figure out.
What's going on, did he just say figure out what's going on who doesn't know how to do basic math? Let's count it out? Okay, it's been 17 mass shootings in the united states.
Four of them were done by muslims.
None of those four muslims were from any of the seven countries in your stupid original band and since he bought it up, the other 13 shootings were done by the tiki torch whites.
These are facts.
You don't see me trying to ban white people from the show to keep the rest of the audience safe.
It's a [, __ ], terrible idea because it's mean and it's racist and, most importantly, it would be catastrophic to my bottom line.
If there were no white people here tonight, I might leave this [ __ ] with 1800.
This man needs to realize that we all need each other and that's why we will never ever be able to beat china because everybody in america is racist and everybody in china is chinese.
This [ __ ] called it all wrong and don't believe the media either, because, as all this [ __ ] is happening, the media is trying to make us believe that the extremities amongst us are the norms.
We can disagree.
That's fine and most of us are keeping a cool head about this [ __ ].
You know what I mean.
Sometimes.
I think that the media is hard on trump, because I'll say [ __ ] that they get on them about that doesn't seem bad.
To me.
I mean [ __ ] donald trump about not staying in the white house.
Enough gives a [ __ ].
This [ __ ] was rich used to [ __ ] in a gold toilet.
It's true, I don't know if you've ever been to the white house.
It looks like a very nice place to work, but I wouldn't want to live in that scooby-doo ass house either.
That's just terrifying! Looking! Imagine you trying to jerk off in the crib and abraham lincoln's.
Just looking at you, [ __ ] bush didn't stay there either he was rich too.
He was like [ __ ] that I'm going to my ranch in texas obama was the first [ __ ] to move into the white house like this.
Is a nice place? Look at this rug.
The media got on him about putting jared kushner in his cabinet, and I didn't think that that was the worst thing.
He'd done and he was still early and I mean it's not unprecedented.
Kennedy had his brother's attorney general right and some [ __ ] of washington outsider.
To be honest with you.
I'd probably do the same thing and matter of fact I do you think I go to a hollywood meeting with all them white folks by myself I bring my [ __ ] mag mittens from the streets.
I don't even know his real name.
Everybody just calls for meg mittens, but I know he's not he's not qualified to even listen to these meetings, but this [ __ ] just makes me feel good and all the white people look at me like dave.
Do you mind asking your friend mac mittens, to excuse us so that we can talk business and I say [ __ ], that anything you say to me: mac mittens can hear that [ __ ].
He listen to the whole meeting when they done talking.
I just look over at mac mittens and if he gives me the signal, mail, mail, I'll sign the papers, it's a gut check.
Well how about this one remember when the it was day after election and the president of taiwan called donald trump to congratulate him and donald trump.
You know, of course, took the call and talked to the president of taiwan.
The problem with that was taiwan doesn't have a president.
The united states functions on what they call a one.
China policy and taiwan is a renegade province of said.
China and donald trump didn't know that and picked up the phone and started yammering away and the media ate his ass up and I'm not gonna lie.
I was laughing like [ __ ].
I was like oh [, __ ], this dumb [ __ ], is in trouble and then that night I was in bed drifting off to sleep, and then I had to admit it to myself.
I was like I didn't know that [ __ ] either and then I realized the media got the story wrong.
The story wasn't that donald trump took the call.
The biggest story is that nobody told donald trump not to take the call- that's terrifying god, damn [ __ ], you don't have a mac mittens on your team.
It wasn't like they were calling the white house, they were calling the switchboard at trump towers and they were getting through anybody.
Mr president, there's a ricky ticky tabby on the phone for you.
Yes put him through hello, hello, ricky, ticky good, to talk to you, mr president, is it john jacob jingleheimer smith on the phone? His name is my name too put him through hello, hello, john jacob.
Let's talk business, how many people in this room are not originally from the united states.
My round of applause.
FAQs
Dave Chappelle On Donald Trump | Dave Chappelle Stand Up Comedy on Donald Trump? ›
Dave Chappelle is an American comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer who has a net worth of $60 million.
What is the net worth of Dave Chappelle? ›Dave Chappelle is an American comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer who has a net worth of $60 million.
Does Dave Chappelle have a wife? › What episode of SNL was Dave Chappelle on? ›'SNL' Season 48, Episode 6 Recap: Dave Chappelle.
Why did the Chappelle show end? ›On February 3, 2006, Chappelle made his first television interview since production ceased on season three, on The Oprah Winfrey Show. He stated that burnout, losing his creative control, and a work environment that was uncomfortable, were some of the reasons he left the show.
Who is the wealthiest comedian? ›#1.
As the co-creator and star of his self-titled sitcom, Jerry Seinfeld has raked in serious bucks through syndication and streaming deals. Other projects such as "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" and various stand-up specials have also added to his bottom line.
Sandler was a cast member on the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live from 1990 to 1995. He went on to star in Hollywood films that cumulatively grossed over $2 billion worldwide. Sandler had an estimated net worth of $420 million in 2020, and signed a new four-movie deal with Netflix worth over $250 million.
Are Dave Chappelle and his wife still married? ›Comedian Dave Chappelle is happily married to wife Elaine (née Erfe) and he is both a devoted husband and father. With his unique comedic brand that encompasses both vivid, eloquent storytelling and shock humor, Dave Chappelle is a giant of the comedy world.
Does Dave Chappelle have a daughter? › Does Dave Chappelle have a son? ›What is the funniest SNL episode ever? ›
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The Steve Martin and Martin Short-hosted SNL brought in over 5 million viewers. The "Saturday Night Live" telecast hosted by Steve Martin and Martin Short brought in 5.1 million viewers, a record high for the show's 48th season, per The Wrap.
Who has the most episodes on SNL? ›Kenan Thompson currently holds the record at a whopping 20 seasons. His closest competition is Darrell Hammond, who starred for 14 seasons before leaving and then returning as the show's announcer.
Who is No 1 richest actor in the world? ›Who is the number one richest actor in the world? Currently, Jami Gertz is the richest actor in the world with a net worth of $3 billion.
Who is the richest black comedian in the world? ›Kevin Hart – US$450 million
Celebrity Net Worth estimates his share of the company alone could be valued at US$552 million before taxes.
1. Ellen DeGeneres – $500 million. Ellen DeGeneres has been a force in the entertainment world for decades. Beginning her career in stand-up comedy, DeGeneres soon transitioned to film and television, eventually starring in her own sitcom, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, from 2003 to 2022.
Is Mark Wahlberg a billionaire? ›According to estimates, Mark Wahlberg is worth $400 million. Most of his wealth comes from his acting career, but he has also been a successful producer and businessman. Wahlberg has starred in many blockbuster films and television series, including Boogie Nights, The Departed, Ted, Entourage, and Daddy's Home.
Who is the highest paying actor? ›- Tom Cruise - 100M.
- Will Smith - 35M.
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- #1. Jerry Seinfeld.
- #2. Shahrukh Khan.
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- #5. George Clooney.
- #6. Robert De Niro.
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Who is Chris Rock married to now? ›
Rock married Malaak Compton-Rock on November 23, 1996. Compton-Rock is the founder and executive director of StyleWorks, a non-profit, full-service hair salon that provides free services for women leaving welfare and entering the workforce.
How old are Dave Chappelle children? ›Who are Dave Chappelle's kids? The Chappelles have three children: sons Sulayman (born in 2001) and Ibrahim (born in 2003), and daughter Sonal, born in 2009.
How many biological kids does Dave Chappelle have? ›Always tell your kids, "I love you." "I don't believe in leaving my children's presence without telling them I love them," he said on Letterman's show. Here's everything to know about Dave Chappelle's three children: Sulayman, Ibrahim and Sanaa.
How long has Dave Chappelle been married to his wife? ›Dave met Elaine in Brooklyn, New York, before becoming a household name. "She was with me when I was poor," the comedian previously joked to Howard Stern. The couple got married in 2001, though they haven't revealed any details about their nuptials.
Who is the white girl on Chappelle Show? ›Chappelle's Show (TV Series 2003–2006) - Erin Hill as Pretty White Girl Singer - IMDb.
What race is Dave Chappelle's mother? ›He didn't realize, though, that they were in fact talking about him. At the Radio City Music Hall show, he delivers an aside about his own mixed heritage — his mother, Seon, is half-white — as well as his mixed-race family.
How old is Dave Chappelle now? › What nationality is Dave Chappelle? › What is the longest-running TV show SNL? ›Broadcast from Studio 8H at NBC's headquarters in the Comcast Building at 30 Rockefeller Plaza, SNL has aired 948 episodes since its debut, and concluded its 48th season on April 15, 2023, making it one of the longest-running network television programs in the United States.
What is the longest-running comedy show SNL? ›Recent News. Saturday Night Live (SNL), original name (1975–77) NBC's Saturday Night, American sketch comedy and variety television series that has aired on Saturday nights on the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) network since 1975, becoming one of the longest-running programs in television.
What is the most successful SNL movie? ›
1 Wayne's World
Wayne's World was the only SNL-generated '90s movie to be a box office smash right out of the gate. The sketch characters had already become hugely popular by the film's 1992 release, and director Penelope Spheeris crafted the film perfectly to transition the characters to the big screen.
Actor Alec Baldwin holds the record for most times hosting, having done so seventeen times since 1990; Baldwin took the record from actor Steve Martin who has hosted sixteen times since 1976. Several former cast members have returned to take on hosting duties.
What is the highest grossing SNL movie? ›In 1992, the Saturday Night Live spinoff film Wayne's World cracked $183 million worldwide, including a mighty $121.6 million from North American theaters. Though not the first time characters from SNL had been translated into a motion picture, this was by far the most lucrative attempt at this kind of movie.
Who is the most successful SNL actor? ›1 Adam Sandler Developed A Style Of His Own
With an estimated net worth of $420 million in 2020, Adam Sandler has won his title as one of the most lucrative SNL alumni. After the success of comedy movies such as Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler founded his own production company, Happy Madison.
Cecily Legler Strong (born February 8, 1984) is an American actress, comedian, producer, author, and singer. Strong is most notable for being a cast member on the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live from 2012 to 2022. She is also the longest-tenured female cast member in the show's history.
Who is the youngest person to host SNL? ›Drew Barrymore, 7 years old
To promote her upcoming film E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, Drew Barrymore hosted Saturday Night Live at the mere age of 7. To this day, she remains the youngest star to ever do so.
Hart might be pint-sized, but his bank account is massive. The net worth of Kevin Hart is more than $450 million. He makes about $40 million annually. While not the highest-paid comedian in 2022 (that title belongs to Jerry Seinfeld), he was close!
Who is Will Ferrell's net worth? ›Comedian Will Ferrell's net worth is estimated to be a hefty $160 million. This comes not just from acting— at one point, he was one of the highest paid actors in the world, making upwards of $20 million per film—but from other endeavors like Funny or Die, sports ownership, sponsorships and real estate.
How much did Netflix pay Chris Rock? ›This event also doubled as the first time the veteran comedian addressed his infamous slap from Will Smith at the 2022 Oscars. According to a 2016 report from The Hollywood Reporter, Rock's Saturday special was part of a $40 million deal he made with Netflix for two stand-up specials.
How much is Kevin Costner's net worth? ›
Costner's estranged wife, Christine Baumgartner, recently asked for $248,000 per month in child support for the couple's three children as part of their divorce, and in court documents Yahoo obtained, she estimates that Costner's net worth is "at least $400 million," also listing his income in 2022 as $19.5 million.
Who is the richest actor in the world? ›- Jami Gertz. Net Worth: $3 billion.
- Jerry Seinfeld. Net Worth: $950 million. ...
- Tyler Perry. Net Worth: $800 million. ...
- Dwayne Johnson. Net Worth: $800 million. ...
- Tom Cruise. Net Worth: $600 million. ...
- Shah Rukh Khan. Net Worth: $600 million. ...
- George Clooney. Net Worth: $500 million. ...
- Robert De Niro. ...
Adam Sandler is one of the most successful comedians and actors of his generation, with a net worth estimated at $420 million as of 2023. His impressive wealth can be attributed to his many years of hard work and dedication to his craft, as well as his business savvy.
How old is Eddie Murphy and what is his net worth? ›| Net Worth: | $600 Million |
|---|---|
| Date of Birth: | April 3, 1961 |
| Gender: | Male |
| Height: | 1.90m (6'5 Feet) |
| Profession: | American actor |
| Net Worth: | $90 Million |
|---|---|
| Weight: | 80 kg or 176 lbs |
| Profession: | Canadian actor |
| Nationality: | Canadian, American |
| Age: | 41 Yrs |
Jerry Seinfeld's net worth is $950 million, according to Celebrity Net Worth.
Is Jim Carrey the highest paid actor? ›As it stands, Carrey's success has made him one of the wealthiest men in Hollywood. According to estimations made by The Richest, he is the 38th richest actor of all time, with a fortune of $150 million.
What is the net worth of Jennifer Aniston? ›Aniston has been included in numerous magazines' lists of the world's most beautiful women. Her net worth is estimated as $300 million, and her box office gross is over $1.6 billion worldwide.
How much did Netflix pay Adam Sandler? ›As discussed earlier, as a producer, Adam Sandler has signed a $250 Million deal with Netflix to deliver four original movies to their platform. He first signed the contract in 2014, renewed it in 2017, and further extended it in 2020.
Who owns Netflix? ›Netflix is an American subscription video on-demand over-the-top streaming service owned and operated by Netflix, Inc. The service primarily distributes films and television series produced by the media company of the same name from various genres, and it is available in multiple languages.
How does Jerry Seinfeld make money? ›
Jerry Seinfeld has a net worth of $950 million, making him the world's wealthiest comedian. His wealth comes from sitcoms like Seinfeld, stand-up tours, TV specials, collaborations with Netflix and Microsoft, and various investments in real estate, stocks, and exotic cars.