4
Perhaps, this was my punishment.
The next time Sunao summoned me, that idea crossed my mind.
It was the last day before summer vacation that I was being called again. The field trip ended yesterday. Thanks to the end of the rainy season, the temperature soared to nearly thirty degrees. However, it caused some students to fall ill during the field trip.
Today, Sunao called me because she was suffering from severe menstrual cramps. While I could share Sunao’s memories, it was more like reading a dull factual novel. I could grasp the content but her pain and emotions didn’t come across transparently.
However, I knew it was an unbearable pain. She, who could have experienced the frivolous mood before a long summer break, ended up entrusting it to a duplicate – that’s how difficult it was for her.
I lowered my head, observing the pale Sunao nestled in her futon as I was absentmindedly fastened the buttons of my school uniform.
“How was the field trip?”
“Huh!?”
Sunao’s “Huh?” was even scarier than Sanada-kun’s. I might disappear in the next moment. I couldn’t help but ask that despite the lingering unease.
At least, I hope she enjoyed the trip.
The time where everyone going out together and sharing laughter was a moment that could be called a page of youth.
That would be good. It would be nice if that were the case.
Even though I knew such selfish expectations had nothing to do with Sunao.
“Not much. It was hot.”
Then I wish you had let me go instead.
I felt a sense of resentment towards Sunao.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
My shoulders slumped slowly.
“I really wanted to go…” I murmured a wish that was incapable of creating even a ripple. Sunao probably didn’t hear it.
Even after arriving at school, the classroom was filled with lively chatter about yesterday’s field trip.
Some talked about sharing photos taken with their phones; others recounted their encounters with seagulls during the boat tour. There was a story about someone taking a break in the restroom and almost getting left behind, and another about watching an extremely grotesque movie on the way back.
It must be nice. I envied them.
Because I couldn’t go.
Just as I sighed inwardly, his figure came into view.
Not engaging in any conversation, he stared intently on a book. While reading, I tended to slouch over time, but he maintained a posture as though a board was supporting his back.
I had barely exchanged words with Sanada-kun in the classroom. Since the day I apologized for the fan incident, we hadn’t even walked to the club activities together.
I swallowed the saliva that surged in my throat before heading to the right side of the classroom. I told myself not to pay attention to the curiousgazes gathering from behind.
“Good morning.”
After the second hand moved two steps forward, Sanada-kun raised his head and looked at me.
There was no surprise in his expression at my greeting. He pressed his thick thumb as a makeshift bookmark between the book pages. It seemed Mori Ōgai was a bit difficult read compared to Natsume Sōseki. The page count didn’t show significant progress.
“Morning.”
“Was the field trip fun?”
Saying things I didn’t even mean to required energy, even though I knew I’d be more hurt if he responded with a casual ‘yeah’. I felt like an idiot for pushing myself.
“I don’t think so.”
Or maybe I was expecting something. Maybe I wanted him to respond that way.
“Because I couldn’t chat.”
“With whom?”
“With someone in a half-up hairstyle.”
Sanada-kun’s eyes seized me. I had sensed the intensity in his gaze, so I couldn’t lift my lowered face for a while.
Thump, thump, my heart pounded incessantly. The speed wasn’t exceptionally fast, but it was a different rhythm from usual.
Talking with Sanada-kun occasionally made my heart behave strangely.
“You’re in a half-up today, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, shall we go together?”
I lifted my face. By the time I regained my senses, Sanada-kun had already closed his book.
“The field trip.”
If words could carry a glimmer, at that moment, I might have been staring at stars.
“Let’s go!”
Without even considering any details, I nodded.
After a short homeroom session, Sanada-kun and I slipped through the chattering classmates who were rushing down the hallway, each of us heading to the restroom. Since there wasn’t any roll call, we should be safe from getting caught.
Our plan worked, and after the noisy voices and footsteps faded away, we returned to the classroom together and grabbed our belongings.
“Your bag is light.”
“Same goes for you.”
There were no bento or textbooks inside. At most, just a wallet, a smartphone, and a pouch. Even Sanada-kun’s usually large backpack was deflated today.
We waited for a while, maybe three minutes to five minutes. As soon as the bell signaled the start of the first period rang, the two of us quietly stepped out of the back door and gazed down the empty hallway.
The entire school was eerily silent, appearing almost unreal. It was expected since all the students and teachers were heading towards the gymnasium.
For a moment, I felt so excited that I wanted to scream, “This is awesome!”. Illuminated by the glittering sunlight, the dust particles danced elegantly and made the hallway look beautiful. I wished to sprint through it from end to end.
Skipping class, taking a break without permission – it was the first time I’d ever done such a thing. Right now, I should have been sitting cross-legged on the hard floor, substituting for Sunao.
I had always pretended to be Sunao and deceived those around me. But today, I wasn’t doing that.
Right now, I am myself.
“Where are we going?”
As if growing wings on my back, I felt I could fly anywhere. However, this feeling dispersed when that offhand question suddenly came out while we changed shoes.
We weren’t children anymore that could play with mud in a nearby park, and if we were to do something in the city, we needed money. I hadn’t considered this at all.
I felt like a repentant sinner and confessed to Sanada-kun;
“I don’t have money to play.”
Though there was always 3,000 yen in Sunao’s wallet, this was her money. I couldn’t use it without permission.
“I’ll pay.”
“That won’t do.”
I had been told countless times by Mom that lending and borrowing money was absolute no. Let alone being treated.
In my anxious state, a sudden idea crossed my mind. Come to think of it, I had saved a lot of 50-yen coins. Wasn’t now the perfect time to use them?
“Wait for me. I’ll grab some cash from home.”
Sanada-kun usually commuted to school by bus and train from Yaizu Station. So if I needed to go home, I should go alone.
“Now? Where do you live, Aikawa?”
“Near Mochimune Station. If I rush, I can be back in an hour.”
Technically, even if I hurry, it took 35 minutes one way, so it would be an hour and ten minutes for a round trip. And considering the time needed to retrieve the money without being noticed by Sunao, it could take longer.
Still, I spoke with certainty. Even though I felt like I was floating in a dream right now, Sanada-kun might change his mind as time passed. The possibility scared me.
Waving from SL’s window would earn smiles from anyone, but not everyone would keep waving at me. After a few dream-like seconds, people would lower their hands and return to their routines.
Sanada-kun might do the same; he might go back.
“Then I’ll come with you. I can borrow my friend’s bike.”
For a moment, I couldn’t comprehend what he said.
“Anyway, he never locks it.”
“Oh, you have friends?”
By the time I realized what I had said, the words already left my mouth.
Sanada-kun looked surprised for a moment after seeing my perplexed expression, but then he lifted one corner of his mouth. He appeared amused.
“Though not many, I still have some.”
“But, um, are your legs okay?”
Riding a bike might put strain on them.
“I’m fine.”
With a simple reply, he turned away, heading straight for the bicycle parking area next to the adjacent classroom.
As I followed his back, I approached my own sky-blue bicycle. I ran my hand over the saddle, which seemed puzzled by my unusually early return.
I pulled the bicycle and met Sanada-kun’s gaze. He looked uncomfortable while sitting on his friend’s bike. The saddle that had a small hole in the cushion appeared small when the tall Sanada-kun sat down.
“He really had this extreme handlebar, huh?”
“Extreme handlebar?”
This was the first time I heard that term.
“It’s when people adjusted the handlebar position.”
I noticed that his bike handlebars were pointing upwards, entirely different from mine and the others. “How do you do that?”
“With a hex wrench or something.”
Even after hearing the tool’s name, I couldn’t quite imagine how to change the handlebar’s position. Since Sanada-kun was displeased, I felt the need to say something.
“But it looks comfortable. Your upper body is tall, Sanada-kun.”
“Don’t mock me.” He kicked the ground with his left foot and approached me, then lightly flicked my forehead.
It didn’t hurt, but his action startled me. I had never been this close to a boy before. If I were Sunao, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But to be honest, I didn’t want him to get this close to Sunao either.
“N-no, that’s not it. I didn’t say your legs are short.”
Sanada-kun’s legs were much longer. Because of that, his sitting height was also higher than average, making the unique handlebar easy to grip.
“When I was in elementary school, I thought having a high sitting height was cool.”
While I was desperately trying to justify myself, Sanada-kun observed me through the gap in the handlebars.
“Were you tall too, Aikawa?”
“Well, yeah.” I nostalgically remembered boasting about being taller than Ritchan. Even though that wasn’t something to brag about.
“Hmm,” Sanada-kun made a nonchalant response and stared at me from head to toe.
“Even now?”
“Let’s just go already!”
He was grinning at me as I stopped the conversation. His mood seemed to have recovered, apparently satisfied that he had exposed my embarrassing memories.
“Drive safely.”
“Alright.”
Leading the way, we pedaled through the scorching mid-morning sun.
Just passing through a road that I usually traversed during twilight in the bright morning sunlight felt special. My nearly empty bag was so light that it might helplessly float away if a strong wind blew.
I gripped the handlebars tightly. The burning warmth in my chest matched the temperature of the asphalt beneath the tires.
Even with the six-speed gear shifted to the heaviest setting, I felt like I could pedal as much as I wanted.
“This is my first time skipping school,” I confessed. Sanada-kun’s cheek relaxed in response.
“Me too,” he replied, his facial muscles looked livelier than usual, perhaps due to the excitement of our impromptu outing.
Under the radiant sun, we chatted about various things.
“Where should we go?”
Anywhere was fine, really. I think that any destination would be great because being anywhere would make me happy.
But saying ‘anywhere’ made it equivalent to saying ‘I don’t care’. Dad frequently got on Mom’s nerves with this, “What do you want for dinner tomorrow?” “Anything is fine.” It was hopeless.
But I didn’t know many places that high school students usually hang out. Although Sunao would go out with friends occasionally, the destinations were places like movie theaters, karaoke, bowling alleys, or chain restaurants. Any of those would probably be fun.
However, ever since I saw the pamphlet from the field trip, there was a place I’d been wanting to visit.
“The zoo… ah!”
Just as I muttered, I realized my suggestion was truly dumb and felt embarrassed. For Sanada-kun, that was the place he visited just yesterday.
“Wait, no, um…”
“Sure.”
The sound of complete agreement reached my ears. Initially, I found his voice, even deeper than Dad’s, quite intimidating.
“Well, the zoo sounds good.”
Now, I didn’t expect that at all.
When we crossed the Shizuoka Bridge, Sanada-kun said, “I’ll be waiting at Mochimune Station.” He probably thought it was better not to know where my house was.
I didn’t mind if Sanada-kun knew where I lived. I just couldn’t predict if Sunao had similar thoughts as mine, so I nodded silently.
Once I was alone, I parked my bicycle in a spot not visible from the house windows. By the time I stepped into a shade, a large amount of sweat glued my body and uniform together. My steps were wobbly. Sweat trickled smoothly down my temples, underarms, and back, and across my chest.
Normally, I’d avoid using deodorant spray, but just for that day, I generously sprayed it all over my body. The scent of roses turned into a pinkish mist, wafting around like a fragrant haze.
I re-tied my hair and swallowed nervously, then cautiously unlocked the front door.
Peeking through the slight gap, there was no sign of anyone inside. Only a pair of regular rain boots sat at the entrance.
Typically, Sunao would stay confined to her room when feeling unwell, only leaving for bathroom breaks and meals. Meals were usually a combined breakfast and lunch around noon. Since it was still 9:15, she was probably still asleep.
While it might be wise to avoid detours, I couldn’t resist stopping by the kitchen for a glass of water. I turned a sweaty glass upside down and quenched my thirst. The sound of ice rattling against the glass made my body feel refreshingly cool.
The next step was crucial. I left the kitchen and crawled up the stairs on all fours. This position muffled sounds the most. Although it took some time, it was the most reliable method.
What am I doing at home? I felt ashamed of myself. However, the fact that this wasn’t my home slowly floated into my consciousness.
I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I was like a thief.
This wasn’t the time to ponder; even though I kept reminding myself, my limbs continued to tremble.
Feeling something off, I glanced down and noticed a spiderweb clinging to my right hand. I swatted it away forcefully and moved on.
In the hallway cupboard, I quickly found what I was looking for: a Disney tin can and two-layered supermarket bags. When I lifted them, my heart pounded so loudly it felt like it might burst, but Sunao’s room door remained shut.
I stuffed the tin can and bags, which were much heavier than I had imagined, into the bag I had brought and cradled them as I headed down the stairs. Rather than a thief, I felt more like a ninja. This mental shift helped me combat the cold sensation that had contracted my muscles.
I hardly felt at ease until I escaped through the front door.
With renewed composure, I rode my bike towards Mochimune Station and spotted Sanada-kun in the narrow entrance to the parking lot.
Sanada-kun was busy with his smartphone, leaning against a cherry blossom tree. I planned to apologize for keeping him waiting, but when he noticed me, he wore a surprised expression. His gaze landed on the front basket of my bicycle.
“Wow, that looks heavy.”
“Yeah, it’s really heavy.”
I admitted it frankly because it was indeed super heavy. Even though I barely managed to zip up the bag, unlike ten minutes ago, it now was bulging.
When I opened the bag to show him, Sanada-kun was even more astonished.
I was prepared to go anywhere with my sack-like bag, but his fingertips pointed in the opposite direction of the station.
“There’s a bank over there, let’s drop by.”
Though I wasn’t quite sure why we needed to go to the bank, I nodded anyway.
“Mind if I make a deposit?”
Each time I nodded, Sanada-kun looked more uneasy for some reason.
While I set up my bike stand in the bicycle parking area, Sanada-kun effortlessly hoisted my baggage.
“I can handle it.”
“Alright. By the way, you’re good at carrying it,” he admired before walking into the bank ahead of me. I hurriedly followed.
The bank we entered had air conditioning that was powerful. The first three seconds when I was liberated from the sweat covering my body felt like heaven. However, from the fourth second onward, it was as if I’d been tossed into a freezer.
As soon as we stepped into the bank, we could see three ATMs were lined up. Sanada-kun didn’t glance at them and headed towards the adjacent counter. The receptionist eyed us curiously, perhaps because high school students wasn’t a common sight. She was bundled up against the cold, wearing a thin cardigan over her uniform.
“I want to make a deposit into my account.”
A deposit? Sanada-kun quickly filled out the form handed to him and submitting it along with a blue bankbook. A high school student with a bankbook! I was quite impressed by this.
A bankbook under “The Second Aikawa” would definitely not exist in this world.
“Alright, now take care of your coins.”
Sanada-kun glanced at me. It was probably a signal to open my bag. When I opened it, I realized something crucial. I couldn’t just hand over a rusty Disney can.
I attempted to transfer the contents of the tin can into the supermarket bag, but I was told, “It’s fine.” With a red face, I handed it over and the receptionist took it without a change in expression.
Suddenly, a loud clattering noise came from inside, startling me.
What was that? It sounded like coins pouring all at once. Then, along with that sound, there was the continuous noise of a machine running.
“Washing azuki beans?”
My mumble apparently reached Sanada-kun’s ears. He found it funny and burst into laughter. When the receptionist returned, she only had an empty can in her hand.
“What will you do with the can?”
I didn’t think Sunao would remember anything about this can.
“Um, I’ll take it back.”
I couldn’t just throw away something that belonged to Sunao. When I got home, I’d put it back in the cupboard. As for the bag, I decided to just discard it.My gaze met Sanada-kun’s.
“I put the entire amount into my account. I’ll withdraw them right away.”
Seeing my stunned expression, Sanada-kun scratched his cheek apologetically.
“Sorry. I thought it’d be better since there’s a fee for exchanging coins.”
I finally understood what his deposit meant. It meant depositing my coins into Sanada-kun’s account and then withdrawing them in cash.
“No need to apologize. Thank you.”
Sanada-kun had been considerate because I was struggling with the weight of the coins.
We headed straight to the ATM. Sanada-kun opened his bankbook and checked the account balances.
Let me get straight to the point.
¥198,750. That was the total amount of money I had saved from the first grade of elementary school to the second year of high school. For a student, it was undoubtedly a substantial sum.
I stuffed all the money that Sanada-kun had given me into the inside pocket of my bag and zipped it halfway.
I had several bills and coins. They were so light, almost like feathers. I wondered if the bank teller might have swindled me. It made me feel a bit uneasy.
“Don’t worry; you haven’t been swindled.”
After washing azuki beans, there’s Yōkai Satori too?1
“If I were a bank teller, I wouldn’t snatch money from a broke student.”
The receptionist, who had looked after us earlier, was eyeing us with hint of hesitation.
“R-right, let’s go.”
When I urged him in a hurry, Sanada-kun laughed and followed.
“By the way, how about going to Nihondaira Zoo?”
“Huh?”
“There’s a direct bus from Higashi-Shizuoka Station to Nihondaira Zoo.”
Nihondaira Zoo, I repeated silently.
Back in kindergarten, it was a place Sunao visited with her family. It was a zoo combined with a small amusem*nt park and had gained popularity after undergoing a large-scale renovation a few years ago.
Higashi-Shizuoka Station was next to Shizuoka Station, and was about a ten-minute train ride from Mochimune Station.
“Is that okay?”
He must have been checking out the route to the zoo when he stood under the shade earlier. He intended to fulfill my dream of going to the zoo. As I thought that, my heart felt like a yellow whirlwind had blown through.
“Absolutely. We can totally go.”
Absolutely amazing. Absolutely fantastic!
At the ticket machine before the gate, I bought round-trip tickets while Sanada-kun swiped his IC card. On the platform, we each bought 500mm drinks from the vending machines.
I had Sokenbicha and Sanada-kun had Mugicha. Even the short beep of the vending machine sounded cute to me.
We were at the Tokaido Main Line. A gray train with an orange line entered the slightly steamy platform. My foot, jumping over the gap, felt like it could leap anywhere.
The lightly air-conditioned train interior was revitalizing. Seats were mostly empty. In the same carriage, there was a slightly hunched old lady, an old man reading a newspaper, and a college student dozing off. While wearing the veil of invincibility, we took seats that were next to each other.
Although we hadn’t planned it, we both opened our bottle caps around the same time. Glug-glug, Sanada-kun’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down, looking quite manly. He drank about half the bottle in one go.
After quenching his thirst, he resumed fiddling with his phone.
“If the train arrives on time, the bus will come five minutes later. We can catch that one.”
“Amazing. You’re quite experienced at this.”
Sanada-kun’s movements came to a halt.
I might have worded it incorrectly again. How could I express it better?
“No, I mean… it’s just that you’re really skilled.”
My lackluster vocabulary was truly vexing. I certainly didn’t sound like a Literature Club president.
The train rattled on, its rhythmic clatter echoing through the carriage. Outside, the scenery blurred past the elongated windows at a pace much faster than when I rode my bicycle. Yet, each house and the signs of shops entered my view naturally. A stroller crept along beside the railway track, the baby’s face hidden beneath a canopy.
“This is my first time going out with a girl.”
I averted my gaze away from the window to look at him.
He was gripping the handrail while staring into the distance. His ears, which peeked through his black hair, adorned in a shade of red.
I almost wanted to poke his sweaty neck to face my way.
Even today, Sanada-kun carried the scent of soap. If I got closer, the fragrance of sweat would likely overpower it.
“Me too. This is my first time going out with a guy,” I whispered softly in return, and even the exhaled breath was tinged with embarrassment.
Skipping school, learning about extreme handlebar, going to the bank, buying tickets to Higashi-Shizuoka Station—everything was a first.
Shyness rendered me speechless. Though I wanted to talk to him about ‘Heart’, there was no time for that now.
The train gradually slowed down, the flowing scenery turned into slow motion, and soon we arrived at our destination station.
As we descended the stairs of the south exit, a bus stop with a bear logo came into view. My heart raced as it seemed to invite us.
“The bus is over there,” Sanada-kun pointed casually.
A green bus adorned with animal logo gleamed as it approached us. I almost wanted to wave to the driver, but I resisted the urge.
Apart from us, there was only one family on the bus. Perhaps, it was just like this on a weekday morning? As the departure time arrived, the bus set off after making announcements. The bus then leisurely traveled through unfamiliar landscapes.
On the two-person seat, Sanada-kun’s knees occasionally brushed against mine. I pretended not to notice and looked out the window.
“There are lots of unfamiliar shops.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t recognize McDonald’s?”
“Don’t treat me like a fool!”
I gave a little flick to his forehead that was hidden under his bangs. Sanada-kun chuckled.
I clasped my slightly numb index finger with my left hand and put on a composed face. He had an exceptionally hard forehead.
After the bus came to a stop, a boy around three years old hopped off first, his young mother hurrying to catch up with his wobbly steps. We kept a little distance as we followed them toward the ticket booth.
“Have you been here before, Sanada-kun?” I asked, and he hesitated for a moment.
“Well, let’s just say I have.”
That was a peculiar response. Was he trying to hide that he’d been here with a girl before? Although the idea crossed my mind, he’d just said he hadn’t been out with a girl before. I didn’t think he was lying.
“What about you, Aikawa?”
“Um… no, not really,” I replied. Technically, Sunao had been here. I hadn’t.
Once the mother and son left, the ticket booth was quiet.
A regular ticket, for high school students and above, was 620 yen. Sanada-kun signaled two with his fingers while talking with the staff inside. Even though we were in the school uniform, it didn’t seem to draw any attention. Probably because nearby high schools were on summer break. Ours was the same; today, we’d only receive our report cards and attend the graduation ceremony. We’d be dismissed by noon.
“Two adult tickets, please,” Sanada-kun said and glanced at me rifling through my pockets.
“I’ll pay,” he offered.
“It’s fine! I still have 197,850 yen!”
Even with the round trip train of 400 yen, 150 yen for drinks, and 350 yen for the bus, there wasn’t much I couldn’t afford with my current savings. I could buy several electric fans with them.
“Just don’t go announcing that to everyone.”
“U-Understood! I won’t say anything.”
We each placed our bills and coins in the blue tray. The two tickets we received had different animal photos on them: a white owl and a red panda.
“Which one do you like?”
“The red panda!”
I’d use this ticket as a bookmark from now on! That way, every time I opened a book, I’d vividly remember today.
The ticket seller smiled and wished us well as we left. Judging by the warmth of their smile, they probably thought we were a couple. But since they didn’t ask, I couldn’t deny it.
I discreetly glanced over at Sanada-kun, who appeared indifferent. It stung just a bit.
Just as we passed through the ticket gate, a staff member, who was a cheerful young woman, appeared out of nowhere.
“Hello there!”
“Hello,” I replied. Today, I encountered many smiling young ladies.
“Welcome to Nihondaira Zoo. Are you interested in taking a commemorative photo?”
“Commemorative photo?”
Upon hearing my question, she responded with a professional smile before explaining, “It’s where you wear animal hats and take photos in front of a panel. The developed small photos are free, and the mounted ones are available for purchase.”
I glanced at Sanada-kun, who looked rather reluctant. But he didn’t say he didn’t want to. After a serious consideration, I finally said, “Alright!”
While we left our bags at the baggage area, Sanada-kun kept a sullen face. But maybe because I looked so excited, he didn’t voice any objections.
Taking advantage of his kindness, I began to focus on selecting what to wear.
“What should I choose?” I pondered aloud, swaying my head from side to side.
Without hesitation, Sanada-kun pointed out, “This one suits you.”
I went for the panda hat, with Sanada-kun opted for the polar bear.
The hats fit perfectly. The slightly curled fur of the panda hat was snugly wrapped around my ears.
Sanada-kun, looking like he was resigned to his fate, also wore the polar bear hat. I couldn’t help but tease him.
“So cute~”
“Shut up.”
Above his scowl, the polar bear had round, innocent black eyes. That stark contrast made him look even funnier. When our eyes met, I burst into laughter.
The panel for the photo featured comical illustrations of polar bears, red pandas, and snow monkeys. It seemed like the top attractions at Nihondaira Zoo were the polar bear and the red panda.
I stood back-to-back with Sanada-kun in front of the panel. A woman with a black camera gave a friendly wave. It was a different person from the one who greeted us initially with chestnut-colored hair.
“Alright, give us a smile! Your smile is lovely, miss! Oh, mister, can you smile a bit more?”
“S-sure.”
Sanada-kun’s response was rather stiff. I could almost picture the expression on his face and giggled.
“Move a little closer, please.”
My smile vanished. We closed the distance between us clumsily, urged on by the staff.
Ah, I should have sprayed more antiperspirant.
“Ready? One, two—”
“Red… Panda!”
Following the rehearsed line, I posed with both hands by my face. This was supposed to be the “rawr” pose.
I had initially thought Sanada-kun would never go along with such an embarrassing pose, but to my surprise, he did. He even shouted “Red Panda!” louder than me. Maybe he realized that redoing the pose would be even more embarrassing, so he went along with it.
The staff showed us the free small photo first. It wasn’t an ordinary photo; it looked like newspaper headlines, boldly declaring “Rare Creatures, Spotted!” In the photo, both Sanada-kun and I were labeled as new species with detailed captions.
Though it was amusing, the photo was in black and white, making it impossible to see Sanada-kun’s facial expression. We definitely need a colored photo!
“A colored print costs 1000 yen. Would like to purchase it with a mount included?”
“I’ll take it!” I was feeling rich today. I didn’t hesitate to raise my hand for whatever I wanted.
When I examined the developed photo, just as I expected, Sanada-kun’s cheeks were flushed, and surprisingly, so were mine. I was grinning like a fool, oh no!
I awkwardly received the mounted photo while Sanada-kun looked at it with his mouth slightly open. We might have gotten something incredibly embarrassing, but there was no place to display it at home. In that case—
“Let’s put this up in the clubroom.”
“Huh…” Sanada-kun looked as though he was choking on a bone, “I wonder about that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not that I’m opposed to it, but…” He tilted his head again, looking puzzled. It was so funny that I laughed quietly to myself.
As we moved away from the starting point, a building came into view. Glancing at the sign by the entrance, the name of the building was the Red Panda Pavilion. There seemed to be indoor and outdoor exhibition areas. I scanned the surroundings and spotted something round in the distance.
“Look! A red panda! It’s alive!”
In a corner of the outdoor display area with trees and arbors, a small crowd had gathered. Their gaze fixed at an adorable creature ambling along the sturdy branches.
White ears, a face framed like a mask, and big, round black eyes. Every aspect of it was simply round and chubby. The tail with its striped pattern was incredibly long and thick. And those claws were sharp.
“Whoaa!!!”
It was so cute. Incredibly cute. Like a stuffed animal.
The red panda glanced at the shining eyes of excited children, then casually crossed a transparent tube. Step by step, it disappeared into the indoor exhibition area with a crowd trailing behind, hearts floating in everyone’s eyes. I was about to follow when—
“Oh! There’s one here too!”
There wasn’t just one red panda.
Another panda was lying in the shade of an arbor, basking in the sun. It had its eyes closed and belly exposed. He was sleeping blissfully.
“Even when sleeping, they’re cute ~”
Everything about red pandas was cute. Whether they were sleeping, eating, or even popping!
“They’re like kids,” Sanada-kun muttered beside me.
“I know. They’re cute, but aren’t they adults?”
For some reason, he glanced at me. What’s with that?
“Aren’t you taking any photos?”
“No. It’s fine.”
Even though I had a phone with me, it wasn’t mine. I was just borrowing it from Sunao.
Sunao got a smartphone during the spring break of our third year in middle school. No matter how much I begged her, she wouldn’t let me touch her phone.
But when I acted as her stand-in, many classmates would ask for my contact information so it put me in a bind. Since then, Sunao let me borrow her phone although reluctantly.
Sunao’s fingerprint could unlock the screen. Naturally, mine could unlock the screen too.
“I’m engraving this on my mind.”
“How much do you like them?”
Having a trivial conversation like this made me happy. But I was even happier watching the red panda rolling around in front of me.
“I want to stay here forever.”
I didn’t want to leave the panda’s side, even if it was only temporary. Sanada-kun’s gaze fell on the map of the zoo we received at the entrance.
“Are you sure? There’s a penguin exhibit nearby.”
“Ah—”
“And polar bears.”
“Polar bears?”
Who knew the zoo would be such a tempting place?
“Can we come back to see the red panda one more time before we leave?”
“Sure.”
With a heavy heart, I made up my mind to leave the spot. It’s okay, the lesser pandas aren’t going anywhere.
After that, we visited the penguin exhibit, as well as the reptile and nocturnal animal exhibits.
The zoo was much larger than it appeared from the outside. I kept glancing back to make sure I didn’t miss anything. Every time I did, Sanada-kun would notice and ask what was wrong. When I replied with “nothing,” my voice would tremble a bit.
Although Sanada-kun spoke bluntly, he was a kind person.
After walking around for a while, we felt tired. So we decided to take a break in a restaurant with a triangular roof and have a late lunch. As expected, it was pretty empty here too. I recognized the laughing children sitting at the two tables pushed together. They were the ones who petted the guinea pigs at the petting zoo.
Sanada-kun and I also went to pet the chicks. Or rather, they piled onto our hands like a mountain. Sanada-kun was especially popular, with the chicks competing to climb onto his large hands and kicked their fellow chicks out of the way, eagerly scrambling up.
The female staff scattered them away while saying, “The chicks could get hurt like this.” In the end, only two chicks spent a victorious moment on Sanada-kun’s hand.
“Oniisan, can your hand be a bed for the chicks?”
“Sure.”
Upon hearing the staff’s request, Sanada-kun nodded seriously.
It seemed the chicks felt Sanada-kun’s warmth as they curled up in his palms and fell asleep. They looked so peaceful, like something out of a painting.
“They’re so warm.”
Sanada-kun’s lips softened with a smile. I regretted not capturing this adorable scene with the phone, but at the same time, I was happy because I was the only one who got to see this side of him.
I had never slept on a bed. My envy of the chicks was something I had to keep secret from him.
“What are you getting?”
A large printed menu was posted on the wall next to the ticket machine.
“The most famous dish here is Polar Bear Curry. There’s also Capybara Beef Stew. They say the beef looks like a capybara soaking in hot springs.”
Oh no!
“Nope, nope. It’s too cute, I can’t eat it. I’ll just have soy sauce ramen then.”
“Then I’ll try the Polar Bear Curry.”
“I’ll have the Capybara Beef Stew.”
In the end, I couldn’t resist the temptation and ordered the Capybara Beef Stew. Sanada-kun went for the Polar Bear Curry.
The taste was decent. The presentation was ridiculously cute.
After a quick trip to the restroom, I scanned the area for Sanada-kun and spotted him sitting on a bench.
“Sanada-kun.”
His hunched figure shifted slightly. He immediately straightened up, but his outstretched hand grazed his right ankle.
“Is your foot hurting?”
“I’m fine.”
His tone was calm, almost unnaturally so.
“Sorry for dragging you here.”
I sat down beside him and apologized. Sanada-kun scratched his cheek.
“I wanted to come with you.”
Even at times like these, Sanada-kun was the type who got flustered rather than angry. A pang of discomfort pricked at my heart. There was something else I felt like I should say.
“Can I ask you something?”
Sanada-kun remained quiet, simply turning his gaze towards me.
“I heard that your senpai did something really awful to you. Is that true?”
His quiet, wide-eyed reaction might have been because I’d avoided the topic for so long.
“The one who got hurt… wasn’t me.”
What did he mean by that? I couldn’t bring myself to press further. I lacked the courage.
Perhaps misinterpreting the reason for my silence, Sanada-kun opened his mouth;
“We haven’t seen everything yet, have we?”
I lifted my head and noticed Sanada-kun’s hand was holding the zoo map. He looked unfazed. There were still the flamingo dome and the orangutan exhibit. We hadn’t even seen the polar bears yet. Sanada-kun was enduring his pain to fulfill my wish.
Why was he being so kind to me?
“We’ve seen enough. It’s time to head back.”
“What about the second visit to the red pandas?”
“You remember?”
“Your excitement was unforgettable.”
I wanted to go. I really did, but I couldn’t bear to impose on him any further with my selfishness.
“No need. Let’s go back.”
“You said you didn’t want to leave the red pandas, right?”
I did say that.
I did, but that wasn’t entirely true.
Because what I truly didn’t want to leave behind was—
“We can come back another time,” I suggested.
Sanada-kun fell silent.
Was he surprised by my words? Or did he notice the trembling in my voice?
Don’t cry. I can’t cry.
Replicas weren’t allowed to cry without orders.
“Hey, let’s come back next time,” I said with a smile and reached out my hand.
Maybe my smile was strained? Tears threatened to spill from the corners of my eyes, my nose sniffled, and my eyebrows knitted together in the center of my face.
“Thank you for bringing me here. Today has been the happiest day of my life.”
Yes, that’s it.
I felt at ease now. This was what I had wanted to tell him all along.
If I were alone, I wouldn’t have thought of skipping school. I had always existed as a substitute for Sunao.
But it was Sanada-kun who brought me to far-off places. Beyond the nearest station, past Shizuoka Station, all the way to Higashi-Shizuoka Station, and then by bus to the zoo.
However, it wasn’t just because of the zoo. To be honest, I could go anywhere. I wanted to express my gratitude to the person who taught me this.
It seemed my feelings were conveyed. Sanada-kun averted his gaze, reached up to his head, hovered his hand around his cheek, and then—
Deliberately, he gave me a slight smile.
“Thank you, too.”
I smiled back.
Sanada-kun’s hand, the one I held for the first time, was much larger than I had imagined. The skin was thick, the bones were prominent, and it was warm.
I was glad that my memories wouldn’t transfer to Sunao.
Because the warmth I felt at this moment… I didn’t want to share it with anyone but him.
